Archive for the 'consulting' Category

Dilbert has left the building

Monday, April 24th, 2006

So, my favorite programmer moved away from the job here.  It’s kind of sad now because we used to talk during the day about the market and about Java and about how much he didn’t like being here.  Which is one of the reasons he left here.  The other reason is the money.  The contract rate for him as it turns out was roughly equivalent to the one that I’m getting, but while I’m pretty satisfied with it, he thought it was a pittance and wanted a minimum of 20% more. I’d take 20% more, but I’m more or less satiated with my rate.  But that’s a good thing because it means that I’m happy with what I have right now and can probably get more later on.  That’s a whole lot better than knowing I’m getting the max and feeling like I need more just to be happy!

I took him out to Peter Luger’s in Great Neck, Long Island near to where we work.  I ordered the steak for 2, which I thoroughly recommend there.  It costs a lot, but it’s a thick porterhouse, which is the New York strip on one side and the filet on the other.  We talked about the place where I work and he used to work and basically his reason for leaving came down to a question of money and a lack of programming assignments.  Most contractors I know are the same; they all want to program and be productive, which is pretty healthy overall I think.  I mean there’s not a lot of slacker contractors out there that really want to sit on their asses all day long, doing nothing but just collecting.

But it gets better!

Friday, April 14th, 2006

I walked in this morning and my ITG ticket was rejected by the duty manager at 10:00 PM.  It was rejected because there is a new process whereby all tickets need to be accompanied by a screen shot of the business user’s acceptance.  So like, I have this production problem with some data that the user doesn’t know anything about and I need an acceptance email saying, yeah please go ahead and make an update to some production data that they don’t really know about.  Oy!

But it gets better.  The duty manager decides that contractors shouldn’t even create ITG tickets, they should originate from the users.  So, now I have to call up the users and say, “Hey, can you send an email to the help desk so that they can open a ticket to fix X” where X is some highly confusing technical data that doesn’t make much sense to anyone but a programmer.  Then after I write the update scripts and check them in test, I need to get an email later from them where I take a screenshot that says, yeah, go ahead and do that thing that I opened a ticket for earlier.  I can hardly wait for the day when one of these requests goes awry and the users get afraid of creating and approving things that are opaque as the day is long.

Still wading in SOX

Saturday, April 1st, 2006

OK, so now I’ve been in SOX land for about a month–that’s Sarbanes Oxley to the uninitiated—and it still SUX.  I used to be a programmer that wrote code to support user requirements to custom systems.  Now I’m a help desk person, not that there’s anything wrong with that.  Except I’m not a help desk person. 

Here is what I do all day now.  I wait for tickets to be created in ITG a product from Mercury.  It’s a pretty good product, but since its highly configurable it allows IT departments to layer enormous amounts of complexity.  So if you are an IT manager that always feels like you are out of touch with what is really going on, then this is the product for you.  If you’re a programmer trying to get anything done in a reasonable amount of time fuggetaboutit!

SOX compliance SUX

Friday, March 10th, 2006

So the leaders of the IT department where I work got in big trouble with the SOX auditors and failed the SOX compliance test.  OUCH! Of course they must’ve known this for a long time because by the time the contractors got to know about it, there were diagrams and PowerPoint presentations outlining the strategy for becoming SOX compliant.  OK, SOX compliance according to Ernst and Young of course.

So I went and looked at the summary of the Sarbanes-Oxley act of 2002 to see what types of things that they were talking about.  As far as I can tell it’s all about accounting standards and trying to keep people from painting a rosy financial picture over a rotten core, the poster boy being Enron.

But according to Ernst and Young’s SOX experts working here, it is a SOX violation for technologists who develop and enhance new systems to login and modify anything on production.  Of course the production admins are responsible for dozens of systems and don’t have the knowledge to solve problems on specific systems, so it is my job to divine problems that might occur on a production system.  Only now, I can’t really get in and poke around because it is apparently a SOX violation.

The irony seems that Arthur Andersen went out of business because they took the heat for doing the accounting for companies like Enron that went belly up.  So guess who benefits from the new SOX compliance rules?  More consulting companies of course.  Another self-perpetual billable hours scheme as far as I can tell. And now those same consulting companies are trying to build the business around the world.  Even though SOX compliance is a US law, Ernst and Young thinks global businesses would benefit from SOX compliance.

Providing healthcare insurance

Monday, February 20th, 2006

Most people that I talk to are really concerned about providing their own health care.  All right, healthcare is expensive, but if you have your own corporation healthcare is a tax deduction. If you are a sole proprietor or LLC, then you can deduct some, and if you can’t charge enough to pay for you healthcare, then get a job for god’s sake, don’t be a contract programmer.  From looking at the labor situation over at Catepiller, it looks like a companies are starting to really gripe about paying for employee healthcare and employees are opting for steep pay cuts to keep it. I don’t get it.  I have lots of friends that go to the doctor once a year and to the dentist twice a year and maybe need a couple of pills or some antibiotics once in a while.  As far as I can tell, most of them could just pay cash for that and move on.  I mean if they are really worried about being wiped out with a major bill, then I’d suggested catastrophic healthcare coverage.  

It’s a living

Friday, February 10th, 2006

I write code for a living, but it’s not the first thing that I did to earn money.  So I have a life.   A couple of years ago I joined the ranks of the contract programmer generation. Right now I work for a big Japanese consumer goods company that sells electronics. A little after I started here another contract programmer started.  He reminds me of Dilbert, so I instantly liked him.  I mean who can resist someone that is the personification of a great cartoon? He is very jovial on the surface but doesn’t take any crap either.  I leared 2 incredibly powerful things from him:

  1. A contract programmer should never have more stuff at work than could fit into one regular-sized moving box and a contract programmer should always have their FU funds in order.
  2. Programming might be a new profession but contract programming shares more than a few similarities to the world’s oldest profession.  According to him, contract programmers are the hos, the pimp is the intermediary company that takes care of our billing and the client is the john.

A contract programmer gets paid by the hour.  Each hour that I work needs to have some sort of accountability attached to it; something like a lawyer.  I submit timesheets twice a month and get paid a couple of weeks later.  I like my work too. But sometimes I really have to take it pretty good and I keep smiling because a contract programmer is easy to get rid of. No messy human resources to deal with.  Just pack the bags and move along. 

If you are thinking of being a contract programmer, then my advice is to go ahead and do it.  It’s a fine way to earn a living, you know what the client wants (work) and the client knows what you want (money). No bullshit about climbing the company ladder.  No false pretenses about what might happen later (bonus) if you do a good job, and no big deal about working on weekends.  If the client wants you on the weekend, then they pay you for each and every hour.  You want to go away for 4 weeks and hike the Appalachian trail, go ahead, the client isn’t paying you.